Things can change

Sorry for my delay in writing again, it's been a hectic week or so. Things got bad, and then they got great and now I am feeling good. It's so funny how when you think life is at it's lowest point, something happens to help and it gives you your faith back in the good in the world.

My husband got a promotion so he's getting a significant salary increase and also a company car again which means YAY I will have the use of the car in the day again. I think that is going to make a massive difference to my depression as instead of being housebound I can get out and about, meet new people and go to activities with Noah and generally have fun and not sit around and dwell on the bad stuff all the time. Similarly if he's having a bad day Im not stuck at home having to endure it, we can go out! The extra money will also take the pressure off a bit but most of all Im happy because DH has been recognised for how hard he's worked and he's going to be on quite an impressive salary for someone who didn't go to uni and he's going to have a company car and a lot of responsibility. Im so proud of him. He will have to travel a bit, that will be hard, but we can do it. Before that I was having a terrible week and feeling quite low so it has given me some faith that things can get better, for us both.

Also Ive made a decision today, it's time to stop faffing about and just get on with it and lose the rest of the baby weight. I was doing so well at the beginning, I put on over 25kg in my pregnancy a lot due to big baby and swelling, I had extreme swelling, and a bit of over indulgence on my part I guess, and I was left with about 12 kg to go once all that fell off. I lost 5kg of them by exercising a lot, teaching dancing and being really good with my diet and I was feeling in a good place with my depression. But over the last few months I've stagnated because my depression has been worse and also with the weather changing I haven't been able to walk as much, and my dancing classes dropped a bit as I was covering for someone. But now I'll have a bit more money I can afford to do an exercise class or something so my sister and I are going to do it together. And Im just going to crack down on the food. I eat healthily, my diet is pretty good but sometimes I get overwhelming sugar cravings. I need to find another way to deal with those and just get cracking. Ive got a goal- by November 20, my son's first birthday I am going to be the weight I was when I got pregnant with him- which is 7kg from where I am now. I would love to lose 2 more than that to be at my wedding weight, but the goal is to be back to pre preg by the time he's one. If I have a goal I think it'll be easier. I look at my wedding photos and think man you always thought you were so fat but you didn't appreciate the figure you had or how beautiful you actually were on that day. I was a healthy, normal weight and BMI and fit and active, I don't know why I beat up so much in those days! I don't look tooooo much different now it's just this baby belly that doesn't want to leave. It's time!!!!

Im going to meet a friend for coffee today then spend some time with my husband while Mum and Dad have bub so that's exciting. Im feeling good today I haven't for a while, and I like it :)