Happier post today

Sorry for the lack of posting it's been a week that's been full and busy, but with what I don't really know. The days fly by in this life of a Mum. Baby has been ok, his little tooth is slowly making its way up so he's been super grumpy and omg the nappies :O but Im hoping it will come all the way through soon, I can feel it and see it now, it just needs to come up.

I am feeling a little bit happier and more positive this week. Had to do a lot of talking with my husband and Mum to sort out a few things that were causing conflict. It wasn't easy, but it has been done and since then things seem a lot brighter, and we are working on spending more time together as a couple as well as with the baby. We had a lovely weekend last weekend where we all had dinner together at the mall, then I saw a friend for coffee by myself which was awesome, then we had dinner at my sister's place. I hadn't been out socialising in a while and I really needed that. I do get lonely at home, and as I don't have a car during the day I can be somewhat limited. But I do what I can within my limitations, I walk where I can and have Mums who come over and I do things with. I am trying to get to more activities and socialise more as I feel a lot better when I do.

Something that has been on my mind today. About 3 years ago, my best friend who I had been friends with since age 15 and went through so much with, decided we were going to go our separate ways because we had a conflict over her boyfriend. Long story short, he wasn't very nice to me and I didn't really like him, I didn't want to say anything to her about it because she was so happy and I wanted to try get to know him better and work it out, but she knew something was up so I ended up telling her. Long story short she decided to move on and we haven't spoken since. I was really upset by it and hurt and I have also missed her terribly, I haven't had a girlfriend that close since then and I think it has left a bit of a hole in my life. I have often thought about emailing her or adding her on facebook but never did as she was the one to decide we weren't going to be friends anymore, so I felt like it wasn't my place to fix it. Anyway I often dream about her as well, like that we meet up and get to be friends again. Last night out of nowhere she messaged me on facebook saying she had been thinking of me a lot and wondered if I was happy, and said my little boy was beautiful which she must have seen on my facebook profile picture. We messaged back and forth catching up on the big things, and then she said we should meet up for coffee. Im torn.... Ive missed her a lot but I was also really hurt by what happened. Also we stopped being friends just before my wedding, so she wasn't at that, and she's getting married next month overseas so I won't be at hers either. She wasn't there through pregnancy, having baby..... so it's hard to imagine moving forward from that and ever being the same.... but what have I got to lose? Maybe I'll gain something back? I feel like we could meet and it'd be like there was never 3 years in between, we had that kind of friendship.... so never thought this would happen and Im a little stunned.

Thoughts welcomed.

Anxiety wise Im ok, a little panicky at the minute because there was a little earthquake in Auckland and so what ifs are running around in my brain. Not much I can do in any case but still panicking all the same. What will be will be. Had a good counselling session this week which helped me straighten a few things out in my mind and realise I don't always have to solve everyone's problems. Its a bit of a relief to realise that. I am working on setting boundaries so my life is my own, not anyone elses to control.