It seems like sleep is such a huge part of motherhood. How do I get the baby to sleep? How do I get more sleep myself? Will I ever be less tired? Why won't he sleep- he's tired? Etc. Just had a meltdown moment where I felt like screaming and so I thought to hell with it, and I just opened my mouth and screamed lol made me feel better, but now I have a sore throat as punishment. I have been working on improving baby's sleep lately. It is really really easy to get him to go to sleep- if you feed him then cuddle him a bit, he'll be out like a light. He loves to be cuddled. But, he wakes in the night once usually, if not more sometimes, and I'm really over it. He does know how to self settle because Ive seen him do it before in front of my eyes lol, and he's slept through before. He has a dummy but he knows how to put it back in if that's what he wants, and he can fall asleep without it. He's warm enough, etc etc I have tried not feeding him, dream feeding him, letting him cry, patting his back, etc etc to no avail yet. He had a safe t sleep but he can get out of it, and rolling over to the side helps him to settle himself. I hate articles on the sleepstore and other places which say if your baby knows how to self settle and they're not x x and x, they will sleep through the night. But what if they know how, and they just don't want to, for whatever reason? I really think that's what it is with N. He sometimes sleeps 45 mins in the day, sometimes 3 hours, sometimes 1 and a half hours, sometimes 30 mins, you just never know from one day to the next. So I think that shows he knows how to stay asleep if he wants to. He can sleep an 8 hour stretch at night before he wakes, he's done 7pm-6am before as well. So yeah it does my head in. Maybe I need to stop trying to solve it. But I get so tired myself.
But my point was, I've been leaving him to settle himself and going in every 10 minutes to check on him. Sort of a version of verbal reassurance however Im prepared to let him grizzle and whinge, cry a bit but I won't let him scream. I don't like the idea of him falling asleep all cried out and exhausted, it just doesn't seem natural to me. So I'm trying to tell the difference between when he's playing me nand when he's really bothered by something. Most of the time, if I time it right when I put him to bed, he will roll to his side and go to sleep no trouble. But if he's feeling silly he will just lie there and talk for ages then roll over, crawl around etc etc. Which is ok cos eventually he tires of doing that and I just turn him over when I go in. But if he's crying it seems nothing will stop that and it's usually because he's still hungry, or sore teeth or something and when I remedy that, he sleeps. So yeah. Kind of doing my own version that Im comfortable with.
But what made me frustrated was it took me an hour just now to get him to go to sleep, he was super tired, red eyes, hardly able to stay awake but so tense for some reason, he wouldn't relax and so getting him to sleep was a nightmare. Days like that get me really anxious, I guess maybe because they take me back to the times at the beginning where that was what I did all day, listen to screaming and try to get the baby to sleep. It makes me feel out of control of things I guess, and I don't like that, and he's so strong and agressive sometimes he fights me and won't relax. Im working on my breathing and trying to slow down and take deep breaths when I get overwhelmed, and I came straight here to type out what I was feeling which has been helpful too. But also the scream! LOL. Hopefully he stays asleep for a bit as I want to do some baking.
Other than that its a lazy Sunday at home, Im bummed because I wanted to get out for a walk but it's raining. Might go out to the supermarket or somewhere later just to get a few minutes by myself.
This is just a suggestion, that a Tommee Tippee lady who came and did at my coffee group suggested. He might not be getting enough calories and therefore waking when he should be sleeping. This is sometimes the case for the overnight sleeping, if they are waking through the night. It might not be the problem, but if it is and feeding him more solids helps, great, if not, not sure what to suggest. Plus as you would have heard, like hundreds of times, he's gotten into the habit of sleeping and waking at inconvenient times, not sure you what you can do about that. Because if it is that he's just needs a bit more food, this means solids, not formula or breastmilk. As if you aren't getting enough sleep either, that compromises your supply, if you are still breastfeeding.
ReplyDeleteTotally sux that he's being a bit all over the place with sleeping. I so know how badly that can affect me if I lack sleep. I'm evil if I lack too much sleep and I think you are doing better then I with your moods. I get angry so often and yell way too much. And when I have PMS, I am really, really evil. So take heart, you are so doing better then me. Remember you can text me if you need to vent, I totally understand.